Monday, January 17, 2005

There and back again!

I got up today and the whole room was spinning crazily, I had been down this road before and knew that it was probably due to a sudden loss of composure of my body; an electrolyte imbalance or a low bp some thing like that.

It reminded me of a morning in Nov 03, I was in the middle of submissions and prelim exams of my 7th sem. The illness was much more sever back then. Everything spinning too fast round and round and spinning u with it. I think my eyes were also rolling. I couldnot stand for I knew I wuld loose balance and fall. Every heart beat sending a jolt of shooting pain in the brain. Definetly scary.

I fought to gain control, ignore the spinning room and focus on what needed to be done. I got into a sitting stance and it reduced the spinning. Next I needed to go to the bedroom to wake up dad, it was 6 am in the morning and everyone was sleeping. I tried to make a route for me out of the room, selecting things I will use as support and the number of steps I culd take before reaching my next support. Ordinary thing like going from my room to the main bedroom had become a navigation excercise. I did get there and Dad being the person he is got me hospitalized in no time.

From the middle of a busy schedule where you culdnt remember the last time u had food, I had fallen into this seemingly slow paced monotony of a hospital room where each second seemed like ages. 6 bottles of fluid and 3 days later I walked out of the hospital irritated at the loss of time and the gap in schedule.

I had missed an exam. And I had no preparation for the next. Result I flunked in the next prelims and took the missed one sandwiched between other two. Thankfully it was the college prelims and not the main university exams.

I finished the prelims some how, then there were viva's and after which the exam was scheduled within half a month. But that was not the first thing on my mind. The first was the application process, which needed attention , a lot of it actually. Preparing application packets is a painstaking process that any MS student here can tell u. Recos, SOPs, transcripts, marksheets, affidavits and what not. Everything took its own time and if during the day you culd free out 2 hrs you culdnt study for the exams, your mental mode wasnt right and this wasnt the way you prepare for exams atleast I was used to work out a timetable, prioritize subjects, select syllabus to be covered, what to study and what to be left for option was decided and only then the subject was touched.

I did go thru that hell afterall and got to USF. ....................... to get into further hell that is. And today it was that experience thru hell that made me stay calm and get back to normal health.

Experience is the best teacher as they say.

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