Saturday, June 25, 2005

Of new faces and new people!


I am closed person - meaning, you can never hope to understand me by just meeting me a few times. You can never really know me even after being with me as a friend for some time. Or so was true of the past. My personal history is dotted with incidents that have led me to be sceptical of every person I meet, I have been stabbed and cheated and being made fool of and taken advantage of a lot of times. Some of those incidents have lasted with me for years and some still continue to surprise me, they make me sit and wonder : "How could that happen!".

I was a dumb kid, well not dumb but rather simple, I always thought that whatever books taught was correct (it is correct) and that the whole world follows that (this is wrong) and funnily enough, it took me a long time to find this out. So I learned the hard way, by failing and then picking up the pieces and continuing and failing again. And so it shaped me, this childhood stupidity of mine, shaped me into a person that wont trust people until he can see them in action with his own eyes. In the normal course of life, it took around 2 to 3 years atleast of close companionship for me to be able to like anyone, anyone! Like a conservative banker, I viewed all people as spineless, without courage and without character, until proved otherwise.

And so it was in a very unusual fashion that I met people once again and made friends. I had attended a party, that my room mate had invited me to and reluctantly I went there. To my utter surprise, I actually liked the people there and I was enjoying more than my usual share. And then as stupidly as they were assumed, the rules in my mind were broken. I understood that you cannot and should not judge people before you know them. And should you be forced to do so, you should not form a by default bad opinion about others just to prevent a possible future injury to yourself.

My behaviour while in the light of my experiences was understandable, it was as much cowardly and lacking courage. And as things work out for me gradually, it changed.

I met new people here. New faces. New lives full of events that I didnt know about at all. I made friends, I formed a group. I have been blessed with great friends, people dont have a single person of the same standard as my entire group is. But this group was of my eleventh standard friends and we have been together in a lot of rough water together. That group has the strength of time and joy and hence is very strong.

The new group I formed here cannot take those proportions or cannot hold as much importance in my life as my Somaiya group. Not because there arent good enough people, but because the conditions arent such that a group of friends can last long in this phase of making careers and moving around in our lives.

But these people are different and good and the group is great in the given circumstances. So I am cool. We party every week end, that reminds me there is one comming up this week end.
We plan to watch some fireworks, so I hope it doesnt rain. Thats a downer: the rain here.


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