Seagull!

I've wandered far and wandered wide,
I've shunned and cared, And loved and hated,
And treasured a love, Only to cast it aside

Alas! my search is sour
And my footsteps lead me back...
Though dark is the night and late is the hour
Sometimes you've to be lost
And be lost to find your way back..

Like a seagull seeking a horizon
Across seas vast, And large beyond par!
In this ever changing world, In an ever changing sky
I search my beacon, I seek a North star.

On halting steps and impatient breaths, I come
Come to rest a night, One moment, One pause
I cease the thought, Of worries there might
To tend my wounds, My scars my cause...

Through rain and storm I sleep
Till a sun rises, with clearer skies
And winds calling promises to keep..
Of smiles and joys, And buoyant bird cries


And so I rise again, And fill myself with hope
I say I am healed, I say I am fine
I forget the pain of a past to mourn, A past to cope
I say I am healed and I say I am fine
Though some wounds there remain
I know they will heed, Heal in their own time...

Yes, I'm healed. Yes, I am fine.
I've lived another day, Another day to fight
Like a seagull with stretched wings
To face winds with will, And storms with might

- Sanket

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Deepawali!

I have a habit of finding secluded places – mostly hill tops – places where you get a good view of your surroundings beneath. As far as I can remember, I have always found this haven – wherever I have lived. Me and my friends used to call it – ‘The Spot’ - a place where we used to come to – to get away from the troubles of the world for a while. It is this place that I chose to write this article at …. For today’s article demands complete solidarity. It is upon a subject I hold very close to my heart – ‘Deepawali’.

I was asked to introduce the festival of ‘Deepawali’ once, when I was hosting our annual event. But under the pressure of time and existing circumstances, I could not express myself as fully as I would have liked..

[Image Credit : http://holidays.vgreets.com/Diwali/Diyas/diyas1.jpg]

It used to begin with the end of our middle semester at school. The beauty about being in a catholic school was that we used to get two long holidays in addition to the summer vacation: Diwali and Christmas!! Around October, the school would conduct its semester examination, which used to be followed by three weeks of vacation – encompassing the Diwali festival.. It was the most fun I remember having, as a child and was no less anticipated than the mangoes of summer…

Hardly being able to concentrate on the last exam, we used to run out the minute the last bell rang .. all kids would fall out with an ear shattering cheer. The last day of exams – had a tradition associated with it .. we used to come home and collect all of our used notebooks and strip the cardboard off them.. we would use these to make play mansions and kingdoms of ‘He-man’ and ‘Skeletor’.

On my way back home, I used to stop at the local ‘Garni’ – the guy used to ground flour for a living, but he also had a most exciting side business – that of selling kites and ‘manja’ – it used to be the best in town.

Every semester end, I would exchange all my savings for the finest kites and manja he could offer. Flying kites was a most popular game after school hours.. As Diwali used to come closer, the kite-flying would continue into late evenings and eventually nights. Using the day light as best as possible, we would pitch our best kites, as far off as we could – these were ‘Kandil-Patangs’ - or ‘Lantern-Kites’ – and they were off-limits to others for competition – in that you could not attack a ‘Kandil-Patang’ – anyone who used to break this most sacred code would pay for it – with his teeth – the more the loss – the more was the number of missing tooth.

At sunset, we used to light our set of paper-lanterns, sometimes as many as a dozen. This was a tricky business, since an incorrectly lit lantern could catch fire mid air – burning itself and severing the string with it – leading to a total loss. Hence the candles within had to be of perfect height and be placed in the exact center. The lantern would then be tied to the lead string and sent aloft … this needed a steady pair of hands an excellent wind-judgment..

When done correctly though, it was all worth it. Under the blanket of night and in the cover of darkness, all that was visible from the ground was a series of lanterns – magically floating in the sky … Just one of many sights to behold during those splendid nights…

Everything in Diwali used to be brighter, more colorful and in every way better than it was before. The television channels used to be punctuated with ads of ‘Nerolac Paints’ – exuding with vibrant colors, lively music and catchy tunes, they used to be the ‘peacock’s cry’ signaling the arrival of our most beloved – festival of lights – ‘Deepwali’!

On the first dawn of ‘Diwali’ – I would rise early with my dad and my little sister – this was a hard task for us kids – for we used to stay up late into the night talking about what this year’s diwali would bring. After dinner, I would tell my sister tales of my adventures, which fort was the best in town, which kid was rumored to have the fanciest fire-crackers and who had the most kite wins of the season – often times exaggerated – usually a little dishonest and awarding me more than my share of credit. My sister would promptly listen to all of my stories with rapt attention. Intruding questions and scrutiny were strongly discouraged – and so long as she stuck to the rules, our proceedings would be peaceful.

The first dawn was always the morning of a ritual bath. Which used to be always a most boring and suffocating time for us – for we would be dying to get out our fire-crackers and be the first to break the silence of the morn… the only saving aspect of the morning bath was the use of specially – reserved scented soaps – saved exclusively for the days of Diwali. As I would take that first bath, my heart would always be torn in two, one half wanting to get out and start the fireworks – the other wanting to stay in the cozy warmth of that beautiful soap-scent…

Dressed in newly bought colorful clothes – I used to prepare myself rigorously – like a soldier going out to war. One pocket filled with sparkles – the other with a matchstick box and a cheap candle, an armed toy fire-gun in my belt and a cardboard box of that days fireworks. Being the elder sibling, it was my duty to ensure that my kid sister not get any physical harm – and that she enjoy Diwali safely.

Placing the firework strategically, I used to warn her and then go out to light the firework, she always had her little fingers stuffed in her ears – long before I lit the fuse - and the minute she saw the firework lit, she would cry out – “Dada – dhaav!” – "Run!! – its lit" – it always used to strike me – funny – and I would want to tell her – “I was to one to light it – I know its lit!!” – but I would never snap at her – I could see the worry in her eyes – and I would come back to her – and stand with open ears – bracing for the sound – but never letting my face show - that at times, even I was afraid. And she would watch me with wondrous admiration – often times forgetting to see the actual firework explode.

At night – after I put her to bed, I would often come to the roof of our building. On a diwali night, it used to offer a most spectacular view of the city..

And you could see every house – from every building – until the very ends of the horizon – lit with lanterns and diyas – each street glittering like a spike of burning flame – streaks across the sky from rockets fired late into the night and hear distant echoes of people and their merriment – still unfinished.. and the city would look as lovely as a bride on her wedding night…

Its been a long four years, since my eyes have held Mumbai in that glory – since I have silvered my hands in gunpowder – a long time since I have cut my fingers flying kites – or have lost myself in that divine music – which only a Diwali night can offer..

My friends often ask me – what do you miss about Mumbai ?? I can never fully tell – except to say this – ‘When I stand upon a hill here – in the United States – I see massive highways – and street lights – but hear only the rhythmic swish of fast tires – rubber on concrete and an occasional police siren, in Mumbai you would hear a cacophony of sounds, of people fighting, of vehicles honking, of your neighbor’s TV blaring some soap opera title and a distant horn of night railways – you would hear the city talk. What do I miss about Mumbai ?? I miss her voice, I miss how she looked on a Diwali night!!
– Sanket

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Regret

A promise I was asked

And a promise I did make

It changed things a lot

And many decisions I was to take

Would I make the same promise?

Or will I refrain?

Will I do it the same and just the same

Do it all, All over again?

The struggles I do accept

And the pain I do agree

Its the price I paid

For my soul to breathe free

If love is the cost of freedom

Then so it shall be

No one shall rob it, Nor shall one protect

My freedom was my own

And mine alone to defend

Would I make the same choice?

Or will I refrain?

Will I do it the same and just the same

Do it all, All over again?

There were mistakes, there had to be

Success was sweet

But it was failure that taught

That the ones to forge a character

Are the falls not caught

I trusted and was betrayed

It led me to conflict - led me to strife

I loved and was burnt

It unknowingly shaped - the contours of my life

Would I make the same choice?

Or will I refrain?

Will I do it the same and just the same

Do it all, All over again?

I think I will, for it was worth it

For one smile of her eyes Or one kiss of her lips

I would happily take eternal agony

For a touch of her hair on my fingertips

I think I will, for it was worth it

For a fair lady once asked of a little boy

Promise me will you, That you will

"Listen to what your heart says

And have the courage to follow it"

And I had promised

"Yes, my lady - I will"

- Sanket

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The Gordian Knot!

I think from the time Man came to his senses, he has despised the idea of death. Once, we became the only species to bond for lifetime, the thought of losing a person, of losing yourself and not being able to be with your loved ones - became despicable. Since that time, Man has always tried to immortalize himself, the very perception of 'Human Greatness' - has been to survive and be remembered long beyond his living years...  

And so this piece is written in the quest of ... "What really makes people Great??" 

Consider Leonardo da Vinci, a great philosopher of his time, who was as much an artist as he was an Engineer. Be it complex weapons, that helped shape the history of the world, or his lasting paintings, or his technical drawings and observations on human anatomy - that even today inspire new designs .... In a time when the topmost brains of the world can not foresee beyond 10 years of human evolution, Leonardo invented concepts that were almost FIVE centuries ahead of his time..

The modern father of science, Sir Isaac Newton, who instead of eating the apple that fell on his head, was great enough to define gravity, who created 'Calculus' and laid the mathematical foundation of scientific development for the next century.... Or the great Albert Einstein, who saw things that few people can understand even today, and certainly no one did in his lifetime ...

In a recent article, I read, the author of "Five Point Someone" - Chetan Bhagat was described as a great writer .. frankly it made me laugh ... I think greatness in literature is Shakespeare ... whose work has survived irrespective of modern thought ... of words that strike the core of mankind and nature and which remain true no mater what the era. .... 

Or Mr. Samuel Clemens - more popularly known as our beloved "Mark Twain" .... whose words are as innocent and humorous today, as they were when written... 

Perhaps the one figure most associated with "Greatness" - is one that has the very adjective as part of his name .... "Alexander the Great!" Upon his birth, the oracles foretold - that he would once rule all the world - travel far - and wide - and achieve what no man ever had! 

[Image credit :- http://www.maa.org/devlin/GordianKnot.jpg ] 

The rest is history ..... they say  - He came - he saw - he conquered ... As I studied history, an incident that remained with me the most ... was when he reached Telmissus - and encountered - 'The Gordian Knot' - a prophecy stated - that the one to untie the knot - will rule all of Asia .. 

Since its conception, the Gordian knot had found no living being, capable of untying it. When after struggling hard - Alexander couldn't find a solution, he took out his sword and cut the knot in half! By standers exclaimed - "Hey - thats against the rules!" - to which Alexander - so regally replied  - "I am Alexander the Great - I make my own rules!!" - he did go on to rule Asia - thus fulfilling the prophecy ....  

A keen observer will note that - the deeds of these men - did survive long beyond their life times ... I think what makes great people great - is that - they don't fear dreaming big - like Alexander - they are not afraid of breaking rules - of doing what it takes to achieve their goals - and when called into action - they walk boldly forward and claim their Destiny!!  ... That is greatness! 

Although, nature might have intended - death - to be its cleaning agent - one that assured - new genes would survive - ensuring a stronger future.... and while man's battle against this very design might be ill advised - I am happy - that it at least produced such great men - whose deeds defined life - for ages to come .... 

It makes me wonder ....  in a thousand years from now .. if the human race survives - who will they know - to be 'Great' from our generation - or has the time for great deeds past us. Are we going to be a generation that did nothing more than watch "Youtube" - and gossiped online - or do we still have that germ of desire - that can drive us to great deeds - do we still have a lust for "Immortality" ???

What it must be - to be taught - by the great Aristotle himself - to have such a great destiny - to fulfill ??

What must it be - to live in the time of  Alexander - or in the time of Hector - the defender of Troy! - of Achilles - the son of Zeus himself!!! 

 - Sanket 

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Deepu Thomas

People usually have a best buddy in school when they are growing up. I

was fortunate - I had two; Anand and Deepu. Eventually - the 'growing

up' did end and fate placed us on different points of latitude and

longitude, prohibiting contact for months, sometimes, years together.

It is at Anand's request that I write this article today.

Try as I may, it is impossible for me to write this piece without

being overwhelmed. And so, if I err, I kindly ask you to forgive me

just this once. I write with enormous compassion and great humility

today - for today's article is about our best friend Deepu Thomas.

I was 5 years old and 2 feet tall when I first met Deepu. Since, I

clearly can not claim to be mature at the time, it is entirely

possible that those numbers are a trifle off-mark. What I do remember

clearly, was the universal likability of this boy. Quiet, shy and

easy to get along, Deepu had the makings of the perfect 'good boy'

from an early age. Anand joined us soon after. Indeed for a large

portion of my school years, we did everything together and soon

enough the school teachers had a rule of not letting us sit together.

If Anand portrayed intelligence and I portrayed arrogance, Deepu was

the living definition of simplicity. Immensely talented, yet

endearingly humble, he was the kind of boy who talked less yet spoke

more. His presence had a way of unconsciously teaching life long

lessons through the smallest of actions.

Lunch hour was an unusually tumultuous time in our lives at the time.

And so I wasn't surprised, but agitated none the less when it reached

new heights one day...... We were having our usual 'peacefully

chaotic' meals - when a bigger boy toppled Deepu's lunch box. Deepu

was never the one to get into fights and probably wouldn't have said

anything, so I took the honorable duty of hitting the boy as hard as I

could. This clearly took my adversary off guard as he must have

thought me to be mad to take on a boy his size alone. Needless to say

- his following punch was a great set back to my morals. I looked at

Deepu with a "Now what??" expression - and so in our common interest

he joined the battle. Fortified with new valor, I launched into a

fresh assault on our enemy - this time targeting his nose, using his

ample long hair as hanging ropes... through the corner of my eye, I

caught a glimpse of Deepu randomly hitting the guy - and so we kept at

it - till our enemy thought he had enough and decided to make a run

for it.

Oh yes! We were then made to kneel outside the classroom. I must admit

I felt a little guilty, to make Deepu suffer the punishment with me.

He looked at me kindly though, and we giggled our way through the

lecture. Later on Deepu showed tremendous restraint, as I play-acted

(over acted) the fight to my friends over and over again. None of us

was smart enough to observe, that my versions were varying in detail

at each iteration.

Alas! our glory was short lived! Soon later, seizing an opportune

moment, our former Mr 'Big Boy' trapped me at the end of school one

day. Behind my back lay the steep walls of "Cretch Grounds" -

impossible to scale and the only exit out of the ground was cut off by

Mr "Big Boy" - only this time, he had ensured back up in the form of

two other equally Big boys. It was the end of our P.T. session and my

class teacher was leaving with other students - already out of the

grounds, I could have yelled for help - or might have even ran away

with a little scuffle, but neither of these options were viable

without loss of honor, and so terrified as I was, I decided to put on

a brave face and face my enemies.

Needless to say, I was pounded mercilessly. The grounds provided with

ample stone though, which I proceeded to use, except I forgot, they

would use them too. Pinned by two boys on either side, I was beaten

left, right - centre - there was no escaping it. Deepu, must have

noticed I was missing, since he came back to the grounds, looking for

me. I still remember being enormously relieved to see him. Yet, it

was clear - there was no escaping this day...

He plunged into the fight right away. And then........ we both got

pounded. Neither of us quit, and we would have probably beaten

ourselves up for good, had it not been for another teacher, who broke

the fight. Our attackers ran away, and we were taken to the first

floor staff room, torn clothes - cut lips - yup - we were quite the

sight to see. Amidst detol induced tears - I looked at our sorry

states - and yet, felt immensely proud and light...

Throughout the ordeal, Deepu never made extravagant claims nor did he

blame me for causing trouble.. Silent and quiet as ever, his actions

had spoken much louder than any words I could ever speak. To, this

day, I keep that incident as my standard of friendship, simple and

always true, such was the lasting influence of my friend on those he

came in contact with..

Our friendship took new dimensions when Anand joined us. Sparkling

with intelligence and delightful humor, he took my mischief to new

heights. Whatever be the venture, Deepu would always end up being a

reluctant yet assured accomplice.

It still makes me laugh to think that Deepu hadn't seen a porn film

till he reached junior college. Anand for sure, saw this as a flaw in

his education and decided to remedy it by procuring a 'Blue-Film' -

it is telling that he instinctively thought of my home to be the

perfect venue, for watching it! I was more than happy to help - and so

it came to be - that Deepu lost his visual virginity in my living room

as Anand and me kept guard.

"If it hurts them so much! Why do they do it??" - Deepu asked.

"Thats the whole point!" - said Anand. (which seemed to have confused

Deepu even more)

"Oh! Most of the times - they are faking it." - said I - with the air

of one who has seen things beyond his age. ..

Little did I know - it was the last time I would see him.

Soon after Deepu went to pursue his bachelors in southern India. Me

and Anand stayed in Mumbai and pursued Engineering degrees. During

those four years, I remember meeting Anand twice, but I could never

meet Deepu. In another three months after I finished my Bachelors, I

flew to the United States to pursue my graduate studies, Anand I

heard, had flown to Baharain, to work in his Dad's firm.

My first return to India took longer than I had anticipated. And so it

was only after a long 30 months that I saw the twinkling lights of

Queens Necklace again.. During my stay in the U.S. I had made it a

point to meet international people and ask for specimens of their

currency. We had a hobby of collecting coins from different countries

- back in the school days... I intended to surprise Deepu - on my

return - with the collection of coins and currency notes, I had so

diligently preserved ...

I met my favourite school teacher - the very next day and we chatted

happily about my experiences in the U.S.

I had a sumptuous lunch and got ready to leave.

"Where next??" - my teacher asked.

"Oh - to Deepu's house, I have a coin collection for him, hes gonna be

so excited!"

"Sit down Sanket." - my teacher commanded. And so, I did, confusion

and bad omen filling up my mind.

"What is it??" - I asked.

"Hasn't anyone told you??" - she asked.

"Told me what!"

"Deepu died a year ago - in an accident " - she said.

I spent the next fifteen minutes in denial and anger, and smashed a

glass in her house. "How could you guys not tell me! This is not

possible!"

I left her place - remembering to be as angry as I had ever been in my

life. After, I came back home, I yelled at every person I knew and

was disoriented for quite some time.

I asked my sister, "What happened?"

"He was at a bus stop - when a drunken truck driver hit him. He was in

coma for a while, but couldn't survive the accident." - she said.

I was never a religious man, but I remember, locking myself in my old

room that day and asking GOD a repeated question - " He never harmed

anyone - why him??? why him??"

My sister later told me ...

'The school his funeral was filled to its capacity with people from all

walks - some knew him as school friend, some knew him as a student,

some as a friendly boy in their neighborhood. Every single one of

them - were gathered that day, grieving with deep sorrow - they had

all lost a person very close to them.

Courageous, loyal and wonderfully simple, Deepu - was the finest human

being - I ever knew. No contest.

As I try to collect my thoughts today, I am at a loss to explain, what

it is to have such a person being taken away - so mercilessly - so

unjustly ....

A wise person once said - "Many that die - deserve to live, and many

that live, deserve death, It isn't up to you - to give it to them"

Deepu Thomas certainly deserved to live, live much longer and happier

and his loss is undoubtedly one - that we shall never quite repair ...

All, I can say to coming Don Bosco students - is "Gear up boys! You

have some big shoes to fill! May you always strive to be as virtuous

as my friend and buddy - Deepu Thomas"

Offering as proud a salute as I can.

Sincerely,

- Sanket

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