Take what you can - Give nothing back !!

The human fascination with the 'wrong' has always intrigued me. Glamor girls have always been attracted to Crime Lords and Mafia Dons. We might give speeches at world conferences and will condemn these criminals in the strongest words while at the same time box office sales for any movie featuring the life of criminals goes through the roof. What is it about crime and criminals that fascinates us so much?

I have been asking myself that question a lot since I saw 'Pirates of the Caribbean II'. So I write this piece - not as a review on the movie - but as an out loud thought process trying to reason this contradictory human triat.

I have always loved pirates. Had we been living in the 17th century - I would have seriously thought about a career in piracy at the sea. We like pirates! Murderers and Looters with not an iota of respect for life or civilized living.

We like Pirates - cos a pirate means - freedom - freedom to do what you want - it means - dexterity - unmatched skill at sea navigation - it means - swimming like a fish - it means - no fear of death - it means no bonds of rules - it means - bravery and courage. Indeed 'Piracy' I belive is one of the few professions that - instead of denying and constraining the most defining human aspect - GREED - embraces it. Not deny that you have greed but live for it!

We may hesitate to accept it - but Greed is what drives the human world. Who doesnt want money? Who doesnt want freedom? Who doesnt want worldly pleasures?

Pirates! They can rob and have as much wealth as they want! They can entertain as many mistresses as they want! They can roam at the whim of their will ! Roam wherever they want!

We like them - cos in the heart - each one of us wants to have great wealth - to enjoy physical pleasure - to live free. Imagine a settled married man - completely respectable - has a nice homely wife - a kid - earns honestly - and lives simple. Give him a wish - an option - to have a life at sea - to flirt with danger and death - to sleep with plenty of beautiful women - to drink - to feast - to dance - to be merry - to command a ship - to terrorize the waters .

Almost all men will be tempted - a few will accept - most will deny out of fear (but wont admit it) - the rare will deny out of conviction and principle. But all things come at a cost - by defying law - you inherently deprive yourself of its protection. You would start great - and run fast and run fierce - but you will soon go out of breath - you will start to realize - that a physical encounter with the most beautiful woman can never match true love - that no amount of money can rival the power of an honest penny - that you can never enjoy that which you havent earned - that which is not truly yours. You may not be cursed by the Heathen Gods but you will certainly be cursed by the souls you plunder. In Captain Barbossa's words - 'The Drink will not satisfy - Food will turn to ash in your mouths - And all the pleasurable company in the world wouldnt slake your lust - You may start being compelled by greed - but soon you will be consumed by it' .

So on second thoughts - I might not actually want to be a pirate. But ........... But what if the Captain is the great 'Jack Sparrow' ? What if the ship is the legendary 'Black Pearl' ? Oh! I dont know - I might easily slip - marry the sea - Take what I can and Give nothing Back!

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Raising the Bar!

There is a phenomenon that utterly sickens me -- I donot like nor accept it when people blame incompetent behaviour on human nature.

" Ofcourse he is jealous - its HUMAN! "
" Ofcourse he lied, he is HUMAN! "
" Dont always expect a logical explanation, he is HUMAN!"
" Ofcourse he made a mistake, give him a break, he's just HUMAN!"
" Yes, he is afraid, he got scared, he is HUMAN! "


As I percieve it people who say these things can blame almost any imperfection to being HUMAN.

I lack words that can adequately describe how much I hate this kind.

Yes, a majority of people are prone to errors and flaws in character, in the course of being human. A simple reason being, choosing the right path often hurts and its natural instinct to avoid being hurt.

But by saying that its ok in the event of being human, I believe people often depricate the definition of humanity to encompass sub standard behaviour.

And if the very definition against which you measure yourself is flawed, there can be no hope of improvement. So I say - to all those idiot suckers who blame all that is wrong with them on being humans - that stop it right now - say its your mistake - its not justified in general to make mistakes just because you are a Human - if you make a mistake - you appologise and make darn sure that you dont do it again. And people who cannot improve in one attempt should exclude themselves from the Learning species of humanity. Because - refusing to learn is inherently contradicting with the way nature intended us to be.


And now that everyone thinks I hate people in general, let me assure the reader that I donot.

I think being HUMAN is a great thing and should be treasured, that being HUMAN is being honest, is being capable of accepting mistakes and learning from them, is being competetive with the aim of a better evolution of the whole, is being ambitious to make a difference to the place you live in, is taking the right course no matter how hard it is inorder to forge a more resilient character, is valuing life and tolerating the essential but less blessed living creatures in the world.

Ya! not practical right! But its the way it should be - not the way it is.

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The Water Window

It was a Saturday, he had come home early today. It was his weekly romantic escapade. At 31 he was as smart and successful as any man his profession could boast of. It always seemed strange to him that he called his New York appartment a home. For as long as he could remember, he had always spent more time at the office and the gym than at his 'home'.

His appartment was more expensively kept than a palace. He loved heights, when they had married, he had waited five years to afford this place. It was a top-floor appartment with one of the best views of New York. He had moved to New York despite his better half, but once he had furnished the place and brought her in, she fell in love with their new home. In exchange she had made him promise week ends .......... he usually was able to spend one of the promised four. He knew, they would soon have an argument over this, still, he hoped he could convince her to hold the ship for another four years. Champagne and flowers had usually done the trick for him, he hoped it worked today.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden drop in temperature from his shower. He cursed the fact that no matter how well kept an appartment was, there was only so much time one could have running hot water. He jumped out and dried himself hastily and then to the delight of his boyish mind, he heard the door open. Ha! She was home.



Posed in nothing but his bath robe, he waited in ambush. She was usually alert and immune to such tricks, but today even she wouldnt have expected him so early. She always went to the water window first - to look at the city spread out beneath. As she stood gazing at the tiny specks of people and long shafts of light, he put an arm around her waist gently. With surprise and wonder she turned only to find herself lost in a deep kiss.

Their love making was always like this, sensual to violent in a few seconds. Lack of company had made sure that the passion between them was ever flamable. He loved her dirty and sweaty from work. In the course of their young marriage, he had spent most money over reimbursing her torn suits.

Eventually they slowed down, lying on each other spent and content. She wouldnt allow him to dress, she liked hearing his day by just lying on him, listening to his accelerated heart beat. Oh! How she loved him.

She knew there would be flowers, a great drink and probably an honest hand made dinner waiting for her. Apart from his iron character, it was his skill at boyish surprise that held her from arguing about the increased number of work hours he was putting in. She knew he wouldnt win, if he was any less accomplished, she would complain about that too.

Commanding him to stay as he was, she ran to the stereo to put on her favourite song. He knew, his mission was half accomplished, she would come back and listen to this song over and over again, holding him close, not permitting a spoken word.

Eventually she let him free ....... he came back after the table was set and held her again, not grabbing her, but holding her instead .. .. and as they stood looking through the glass window, he thought of how much he had achieved and how much more he wanted to. And the city beneath stood witness to their love and to his ambition.

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Guitar and Rain Drops!

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Guitar and Rain Drops

It was the Monsoon of '97. I was crazy then and so was the world. I had read a book by 'Jayanth Naralikar' named 'Presheet' - a novel in Marathi - and probably my first exposure to non-academic marathi literature.

The book talked about two close friends - John and Peter. It inspired me and my friend to immitate them. Now that I think of it, it all seems so crazy that I am actually embarassed to admit I did those things. We named roads differently, we named buildings differently and drew maps of our city and talked in code. It kinda sounded cool. We were John and Peter. Yes! little did we know what life is and how drastically it can change. It was a time when I lived in fantasy and the cruel reality of the world was unknown to me.

I displayed an array and shades of character that I no longer posses. This blog is just a memory to capture the splendor of those moments. The fact that they had no relation with reality makes them ridiculous and yet lends them the virtue of portraying 'what could be' than 'what is'.

I would meet Shrikant at his home. We used to spend time together after tuitions. His home was a ground floor flat - we would usually be alone, his Mom and Dad worked and his brother was in school. So, we would eat whatever was home and then I would ask him to play guitar for me. 'Papa kehte hai' was our favourite tune. And indeed I have never quite got the same elation from that song as I did in those rainy afternoons. Play he would, and I would glance out his balcony and enjoy the beauty of rains!

Rains need no description. I live in snow right now and rains here are messy and dull. People here wouldnot believe that rains could be beautiful and romantic. How an unbeareable hot day could be trasformed magically into a cool moist afternoon. How the music of the rainfall blended with the music of our guitar, resonating our feelings!

Oh yes, I observed beauty in nature. I could sense the softness of the wind as it caressed my face and ruffled my hair. I could talk to a rain drop as it settled on a leaf. I could see life and appreciate all things living. I could understand - that which I no longer .....

We thought of ourselves as Men (we were 16 by the way). We fell in love with different women. He with the girl in first floor window of the opposite building and me with my enemy of last year. Neither of us had any success. Love it was not - but right then it was all ok. Now some nine years later, when I have matured many decades, I am still no closer to figuring out that emotion than I was at silly 16.

Though few virtues and values we understood clearly and they still remain the skeleton that shapes our characters. We understood 'Courage' - being brave and fearless in the face of danger. Though I scarcely knew how rare and dwindling this virtue was! 'Loyalty' - staying and getting beat by a bigger Man when he comes to trash your friend. Though 'Loyalty' doesnt always reciprocate, I knew not. 'Honesty' - not lying even when it can hurt you - and admittiting your failure when you did. Though how bitter it is for people I couldnt fathom. 'Generosity' - lending your book on the day of exam and doing poorly yourself. Though how royal and unaffordable it was I leaned recently.


But right there - that moment - when the guitar and the rain were singing, I experienced these virtues in our friendship. And not a moment goes without me thanking GOD that I could experience that which few people have the fortune of.

Virtues we had and virtues we lost. Many for the world - Few between us. But the more apart we grew in distance - the stronger our friendship became - especially when we realized - there wouldnt be another of the kind. The distance between us grew from hours to weeks, from months to years. Yet there remains an understanding - deep inside our being - that if it were possible in any way we would stand for each other - fearless. And from that comes a strength beyond the expression of words.

Thus is the story - of Sanket and Shrikant - of Guitar and Rain Drops!

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