Saturday, January 22, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
There and back again!
I got up today and the whole room was spinning crazily, I had been down this road before and knew that it was probably due to a sudden loss of composure of my body; an electrolyte imbalance or a low bp some thing like that.
It reminded me of a morning in Nov 03, I was in the middle of submissions and prelim exams of my 7th sem. The illness was much more sever back then. Everything spinning too fast round and round and spinning u with it. I think my eyes were also rolling. I couldnot stand for I knew I wuld loose balance and fall. Every heart beat sending a jolt of shooting pain in the brain. Definetly scary.
I fought to gain control, ignore the spinning room and focus on what needed to be done. I got into a sitting stance and it reduced the spinning. Next I needed to go to the bedroom to wake up dad, it was 6 am in the morning and everyone was sleeping. I tried to make a route for me out of the room, selecting things I will use as support and the number of steps I culd take before reaching my next support. Ordinary thing like going from my room to the main bedroom had become a navigation excercise. I did get there and Dad being the person he is got me hospitalized in no time.
From the middle of a busy schedule where you culdnt remember the last time u had food, I had fallen into this seemingly slow paced monotony of a hospital room where each second seemed like ages. 6 bottles of fluid and 3 days later I walked out of the hospital irritated at the loss of time and the gap in schedule.
I had missed an exam. And I had no preparation for the next. Result I flunked in the next prelims and took the missed one sandwiched between other two. Thankfully it was the college prelims and not the main university exams.
I finished the prelims some how, then there were viva's and after which the exam was scheduled within half a month. But that was not the first thing on my mind. The first was the application process, which needed attention , a lot of it actually. Preparing application packets is a painstaking process that any MS student here can tell u. Recos, SOPs, transcripts, marksheets, affidavits and what not. Everything took its own time and if during the day you culd free out 2 hrs you culdnt study for the exams, your mental mode wasnt right and this wasnt the way you prepare for exams atleast I was used to work out a timetable, prioritize subjects, select syllabus to be covered, what to study and what to be left for option was decided and only then the subject was touched.
I did go thru that hell afterall and got to USF. ....................... to get into further hell that is. And today it was that experience thru hell that made me stay calm and get back to normal health.
Experience is the best teacher as they say.
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It reminded me of a morning in Nov 03, I was in the middle of submissions and prelim exams of my 7th sem. The illness was much more sever back then. Everything spinning too fast round and round and spinning u with it. I think my eyes were also rolling. I couldnot stand for I knew I wuld loose balance and fall. Every heart beat sending a jolt of shooting pain in the brain. Definetly scary.
I fought to gain control, ignore the spinning room and focus on what needed to be done. I got into a sitting stance and it reduced the spinning. Next I needed to go to the bedroom to wake up dad, it was 6 am in the morning and everyone was sleeping. I tried to make a route for me out of the room, selecting things I will use as support and the number of steps I culd take before reaching my next support. Ordinary thing like going from my room to the main bedroom had become a navigation excercise. I did get there and Dad being the person he is got me hospitalized in no time.
From the middle of a busy schedule where you culdnt remember the last time u had food, I had fallen into this seemingly slow paced monotony of a hospital room where each second seemed like ages. 6 bottles of fluid and 3 days later I walked out of the hospital irritated at the loss of time and the gap in schedule.
I had missed an exam. And I had no preparation for the next. Result I flunked in the next prelims and took the missed one sandwiched between other two. Thankfully it was the college prelims and not the main university exams.
I finished the prelims some how, then there were viva's and after which the exam was scheduled within half a month. But that was not the first thing on my mind. The first was the application process, which needed attention , a lot of it actually. Preparing application packets is a painstaking process that any MS student here can tell u. Recos, SOPs, transcripts, marksheets, affidavits and what not. Everything took its own time and if during the day you culd free out 2 hrs you culdnt study for the exams, your mental mode wasnt right and this wasnt the way you prepare for exams atleast I was used to work out a timetable, prioritize subjects, select syllabus to be covered, what to study and what to be left for option was decided and only then the subject was touched.
I did go thru that hell afterall and got to USF. ....................... to get into further hell that is. And today it was that experience thru hell that made me stay calm and get back to normal health.
Experience is the best teacher as they say.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Things that were!
Hi,
Today winamp suddenly played a memorable song. It was the slower version of the title song of 'Dil Chahta Hai'. I usually associate songs with the times when the film was released and how life was then. I had seen this film with my entire class in a local theatre while in the third semester of engineering. I was late for the show and the film had already started. People were rocking to the tunes of 'Koi kahe' when I entered the pitch dark of Meghraj. I was stepping over toes and and fumbling to find my seat and even now I can distinctly remember the comfort I had from the fact that shuld any one from the audience beat me up, it wuld probably be a member of my class!
We were just out of hell (freshmen year) and had got our first real 15 day vacation. Fresh and eager to get out of the academic world, we were filled with the contagious enthusiasm that is the hallmark of a second year Engineering student. It was a time when u get to know ur seniors and work with them. U start taking part in extracuriculars, which as mentioned above not only introduces u to seniors but also lets u bunk classes and get attendence for doing it!Academically it was the easiest sem I remember, practicals were light and I had a great programming partner. College wuld usually end at 2pm for comp 3, needless to say we were the envy of our counterparts. I wuld usually go to the basket ball court behind college and play for a while with my fellow class mates and although I never learnt more than 'how to pass the ball', it was great fun none the less. When not playing I wuld sit on the stair like benches (built by some poor work shop students mind you! ) and chat with friends.............. chat abut movies, who is having a crush on whom, who got caught while giving a plagiarized demo, everything and nothing at all and enjoy the wind. It was the most relaxing part of my day.
The world was a very simple place................. there were no career issues in mind, there was no stress and there was no worry. It was the time when I happily kept an empty mind (not a devils work shop!). It allowed friendships to cement and rendered a health that I wuld dearly need to go through the rest of my under graduate career.
Now as life becomes progressively worse, its a memory that acts as my oasis. Bored by debugging an impossible program I sit quietly for a while and make a mental escapade onto the basketball court and hear the ordered chaos of the game, shoes squeaking, the thump of the ball, I almost live it again. And it never fails to give me the strength to fight the damn bug once more.
Afterall as Bryan Adams wuld have said ... "Those were the best days of my life! "
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